A Case for Abstinence

It takes a lot to get my ire up, but this guy came very close. Around three years ago, he introduced me to his pregnant girlfriend. "This is my baby mama," he bragged. "Baby's due in six months." I smiled at the young girl who shyly smiled back.

A few months later he informed me, "Hey--I have a six-month-old baby." I was a stunned. "Did your girlfriend have her baby already?" I asked, wondering if maybe she was more than three months pregnant when I met her.

"Oh, no," he said. "That baby mama not due until June. My six-month-old baby was one I didn't know I had until last week." Before I could stop myself, I responded, "You know, when God said to populate the earth, I think He meant to get married first."

A couple of months ago I ran into the same guy. Puffing out his chest he said, "Hey! Guess how many kids I have now. Five! And the oldest one is two." I silently tried to digest this mathematical conundrum. "What do you mean? How can you have five children ages two and under?"

"Three baby mamas. Three baby mamas and five babies," he boasted like he was waiting for me to give him an Emmy or an Oscar or whatever award would be given to reward such behavior. I blurted out, "Look . . . You gotta close this thing up. That's too many babies with too many women."  I know. It was a bit blunt, but someone had to say it. Once he realized I wasn't going to sing accolades about his exploits, he turned and walked away. I haven't seen him since.

When does it stop? I'm not just talking about this young guy who thinks making babies is his life's mission. I'm talking about the loss of morality that is culminating in unfathomable decisions with often serious consequences.

Did you know that 78% of abortions in the United States are performed on unmarried women? (see www.abortionfacts.com) Freedom of choice? Couples make their choice when they decide to sleep together without fully considering the end results.

While the family unit disintegrates and the percentage of single-mother pregnancies soars, the so-called experts beat around the bush by offering ineffective solutions such as "shotgun weddings" (where you immediately marry the girl you get pregnant), readily-available contraceptives, or government-funded abortions.

One contributor posted on the Dads' Rights Newsgroup blog site, "Since the decision to have the child is solely up to the mother, I don't see how both parents have responsibility to that child."
Whatever happened to taking responsibility for one's actions?

The wedding night used to be sacred. Now it seems there is no such thing because the anticipated "wedding night activity" occurs long before the marriage takes place. Even King Solomon knew the importance of waiting when he said three different times, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

At the risk of sounding outdated, why not take the safest, sanest route--wait until marriage to have sex. Good Ol' Fashioned Abstinence. What if parents educated their kids about moral values instead of wimpy reasoning like, "Well, they're gonna have sex anyway, so they might as well have it here at home instead of in the back seat of a car"? What if teens grew a spine instead of surrendering to peer pressure by compromising, "Everyone is doing it. I want to be accepted"? What if  self control was once again respected instead of rejected?

So, here's my old-fashioned advice: Guys, respect your woman by showing enough self-control to insist that you both wait until after marriage to express your love in a physical manner. Gals, don't you dare lower your standards by letting any guy anywhere call you his "baby mama" until he makes you his wife first. It's the proper and healthy order of things.

I hope someone out there agrees with me.  Can I get an Amen?

Learning contentment from a 7-year-old

This past week my husband and I attended a birthday party for the seven-year-old son of some friends. We tucked seven crisp one-dollar bills in a Superman card and, when the birthday boy met us on the driveway of his home, I handed him the card. He glanced at it briefly and said sweetly, "No thank you."

"Honey, this is your birthday gift," I urged, surprised at his response. "It has money in it. Don't you want it?"

"No thank you," he repeated.

We were a little taken back. What normal kid doesn't want a gift--especially money? Meanwhile, his young friends surrounded us, clamoring, "I want it! I'll take the money!" I held the card high in the air so his "normal" friends couldn't extricate it from my hands. Then I headed toward the birthday boy's parents and gave them the gift, commenting on their son's refusal to accept it. The mother explained that he's always been like that, wondering why people give him gifts if he hasn't asked for anything. He's simply content and creative with what he has.

Personally, I find the young boy's attitude extremely refreshing. Think of how many times you've attended children's parties and, while the guest of honor is opening his/her gifts, other kids are crying, "What about me? Where's my gift?" Where do kids learn this stuff?

I was in a store check-out line while the cashier and the customer in front of me lamented how unfair it was that some famous person had received an enormous inheritance. "He's so greedy," the cashier complained. "The least he could do is share his wealth with other people."

"I know," opined the customer. "It's not fair that some people have so much and others have so little." He grabbed his bags and walked off. I stepped up in line, smiled at the cashier and said, "So, if you receive a large inheritance will you share it with me? It just wouldn't be fair if you kept it all yourself."  If looks could kill . . .

Isn't human nature funny. When we don't have much, we despise those who do. (I think that's called envy.)  But when we DO enjoy abundance, greed can cause us to keep it all to ourselves. (I think that's called jealousy.) Where do we learn this stuff?


I know a seven-year-old kid who could teach us a thing or two about contentment. He obviously learned it somewhere. Hats off to his parents.